Men can be selfish. We can often get lost in “What's in it for me?” Modern society promotes self over service but is this truly fulfilling? Or is this creating a modern man who is depressed, suicidal and disempowered?

There are many men out there who are struggling at the moment. As I shared last week in my article about men's groups, the leading cause of death in the UK men under the age of 45 is suicide. How does this relate to being selfish? What does this have to do with service?

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As men, certainly in the UK, we have been taught from a young age to go within. Rather than expressing ourselves through our emotions – our tears, anger, upset and joy, we are told to put a lid on it.

Anger is punished...

Tears are laughed at...

Love is called girly...

So we start to self-regulate ourselves. We start to go within. Rather than giving out to the world, all of ourselves, we go within, we suppress, we repress and we control.

What happens is that as we grow older we become more concerned with ourselves than others. The common term used in marketing is “What's in it for me?” They say that our customers are more interested in themselves than in anyone else. Talk about them and they will love you.

But this model is for making money – not for cultivating happiness. While money is important, if it is your only focus then an imbalance can occur.

A relationship can falter is your only focus is yourself...

Your children can feel uncared for if you only talk about yourself...

Your community can fall apart if there is no one caring for those who are struggling...

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So my invitation to men is that it is time for you to step outside of yourself. Time to stop asking “What's in it for me?” and start asking “How may I serve?”

Humans are born to thrive and yet by just focusing on yourself and your needs you don't thrive.

You truly thrive when you look around the world and ask, “What does the world need?”

Maybe the world needs more joy, so my invitation is that you smile more and offer praise to those around you.

Maybe the old people want company and conversation, so give them your time and your listening ears.

Maybe the young people want benevolent role models to support them to become the greatest versions of themselves, so spend time with them truly being present and open hearted...

And when you ask those questions and you take those steps to serve, your life feels on purpose.

A man must have a purpose.

A man must have a vision and a mission.

For when we do, we feel alive, we feel connected to all aspects of the mature archetypes of the King, Magician, Warrior and Lover.

We bless others with our work – the King...

We serve the realm – the Warrior...

We feel deeply into those around us both their joy and their pain and support them – the Lover...

We create visions and ideas of how we want the world to be – the Magician...

By being selfish and only caring about your own success and wealth, you miss a huge opportunity to be happy.

This work is not easy, but it is a work that you were born to do.

Many blessings,

Piers