AEM Podcast #63 - Shahid Van Helden – Intimacy | Porn Addiction | Sex | Trauma | What is Tantra | Men

An Evolving Man Podcast AEM #63 -

Shahid Van Helden 

Intimacy | Porn Addiction | Sex |

Trauma | What is Tantra | Men

In this episode of the podcast I have a fascinating conversation with Shahid Van Helden who is a men's sexuality teacher talking about tantra, sex, porn addiction and intimacy.


He also talks about presence and the three things that we need to do as men to become more present.


He also share some ideas for how we improve our love-making and our sex lives.


A really fascinating conversation.


---


Shahid Van Helden is a men's group, men's & couples' retreat and Tantra facilitator. Shahid has also trained in Tantra Massage & Bodywork. He runs couples retreats with his beloved, Shashi Solluna.



Some areas to talk about:


  1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
  2. Could you please talk a little about Tantra. What is it?
  3. If you are a man who has been through trauma or a dysfunctional upbringing especially regarding sex, how do we start to heal that?
  4. It is said in personal development circles that it is women who do most of the inner work. How do we as men step up and start to examine our inner workings?
  5. How do we cultivate presence?
  6. How can we as men be vulnerable and not collapse?
  7. Some men feel that they are not good enough especially regarding sex. What would you advise someone who comes to you with this problem?
  8. Dissociation. Through trauma a man comes to you who has dissociated, especially in sex. They're always in their head. What are some of the practices that you teach men to be more embodied?
  9. What do you suggest for men who have no ability for intimacy and no perceptible sex drive?
  10. How do people learn more about your work or reach out?



To learn more about Shahid's work please visit: https://www.masteringtheartoflove.com/


Or to learn more about his couples work with his partner Shashi Solluna please visit: https://www.thetantriccouple.com/ or https://www.livetantra.com/


To learn more about Shahid's work please visit: https://www.masteringtheartoflove.com/


Or to learn more about his couples work with his partner Shashi Solluna please visit: https://www.thetantriccouple.com/ or https://www.livetantra.com/


By peter thompson June 11, 2026
Why Losing My Wife Reawakened My Boarding School Trauma
By piers June 3, 2026
Many former boarders say they hated prep school but loved public school. Why? Exploring boarding school trauma, adaptation and survival strategies.
By piers May 26, 2026
Why So Many Ex-Boarders Struggle With Boundaries
By piers May 14, 2026
Polyvagal Theory, the Vagus Nerve and Boarding School Trauma 
eldership in leadership
By piers February 13, 2026
What if leadership fails because of ungrieved trauma? A CLG reflection on eldership, emotional intelligence, and healing cultures shaped by institutions.
By piers February 6, 2026
Charles Spencer speaks openly about boarding school abuse, fear, rage, corporal punishment, and lifelong trauma. A vital conversation about silence, survival, and truth.
By piers January 30, 2026
A powerful conversation with paediatrician Dr William Verling on boarding school trauma, safeguarding failures, emotional shutdown, impostor syndrome, and what happens when children aren’t protected.
By piers January 23, 2026
A deep conversation with Dr Mark Stibbe on the mother wound, attachment theory, and why boarding school can create emotional shutdown. Plus Skyfall, James Bond, and healing pathways.
By piers January 16, 2026
Actor and comedian Tom Greaves shares how boarding school shaped his humour, shame, and identity — and how his show “Goodbye Uncle Fudgy” became a path from dissociation to healing.
By piers January 9, 2026
Educational psychologist Morag Edwards explores girls’ boarding school trauma, neglect, attachment rupture, and misogyny in co-educational boarding schools.